A L I E N E L I T E

mary. 22. pirate. fluent in 3 languages. english. sarcasm. and profanity. ⚓

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  1. prehistorian:

    stop for a minute and realize you are a 10lb brain piloting a slab of meat

    (Source: 40ozbaka)

     
     
  2. "When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them."
    — Lemony Snicket (via fairestregal)
     
     
  3. "If you are lucky enough to find a weirdo never let them go"
    — Matthew Gray Gubler  (via asdfghjkllove)

    (Source: letlovefindyou33)

     
     
  4. "I am figuring out which parts of my personality are mine 
and which ones I created to please you."
    — The Dust On This Poem Could Choke You/ Lora Mathis lora-mathis (via asdfghjkllove)

    (Source: possibilityofliving)

     
     
  5. thequeerclone:

    the fact that there are no leaked nudes on my dashboard proves that i’m following the right people

     
     
  6. "22 years ago today. 22 years ago today, a boy named Harry Potter boarded the Hogwarts Express. 22 years ago today, Ron Weasley asked if he could sit in Harry’s compartment. 22 years ago today, Hermione Granger asked they if they saw Neville’s toad. 22 years ago today, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sorted into Gryffindor. 22 years ago today, the golden trio met."
    — (via siriuxblacx)
     
     
  7. blurrys:

chill hazel grace its a metaphor

    blurrys:

    chill hazel grace its a metaphor

    (Source: celinaelixr)

     
     
  8. punnier:

    velma on the streets but daphne in the sheets

     
     
  9. cockringtoss:

    *strategically places snapchat text box over acne*

     
     
  10. just-laff:

    never throw me anything unless you’re ok with it dropping

    (Source: imthedogwithablog)

     
     
  11. nosdrinker:

    captain underpants is better than every john green book

     
     
  12. (Source: weheartit.com)

     
     
  13. wurnbo:

    did i allow u to have fun without me

     
     
  14. "if you consider a woman
    less pure after you’ve touched her
    maybe you should take a look at your hands"
    — 

    (via solacity)

    I will never not reblog this

    (via nuedvixx)

    (Source: anachronica)

     
     
  15. Friendly reminder that anyone born between 1985-1998 didn’t get their hogwarts letter because Voldemort’s ministry wiped out the record of muggleborns

    (Source: tracey-hummel)