A L I E N E L I T E

mary. 22. pirate. fluent in 3 languages. english. sarcasm. and profanity. ⚓

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  1. mathpreacher:

    accidentally forgetting your earbuds at home is like accidentally leaving your first born child at the gates of hell

     
     
  2. hi:

    seeing your friends when you’re with a really cute person

    image

     
     
  3. jedavu:

    New Impossibly Tiny Landscapes Painted on Food by Hasan Kale

     
     
  4. souljagirl617:

    I don’t go thru ppls pictures on their phone cause I wasn’t raised in the jungle

     
     
  5. blacklistecl:

    when you manage to cheer someone up

    image

    (Source: cutefollower)

     
     
  6. meladoodle:

    *throws coins at strippers really hard*

    (Source: meladoodle)

     
     
  7. Flat Iron building

    Flat Iron building

     
     
  8. baracknobama:

    why are cats always so relaxed when the government is a mess

     
     
  9. expels:

    my talents include stress eating and falling in love with people that will never love me back

    (Source: expels)

     
     
  10.  
     
  11. sassswag:

    All these volume buttons, you still can’t turn up

    (Source: gjvenchy)

     
     
  12. googlearths:

    GOING TO CLICK ON A NEW TAB AND ACCIDENTALLY EXITING OUT OF THE ENTIRE WINDOW

    image

    (Source: orlandobloomfistmeintheass)

     
     
  13. lameborghini:

my throne

    lameborghini:

    my throne

     
     
  14. wimpynoodle:

slimecat:

the wiKIPEDIA ARTICLE ABOUT HI-FIVES IS THE BEST THING

"Victim"

    wimpynoodle:

    slimecat:

    the wiKIPEDIA ARTICLE ABOUT HI-FIVES IS THE BEST THING

    "Victim"

    (Source: dema-zema)

     
     
  15. squirticuno:

4gifs:

Dog caught staring

Literally me when my crush looks at me

    squirticuno:

    4gifs:

    Dog caught staring

    Literally me when my crush looks at me

    (Source: ForGIFs.com)